You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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