You made me cry and you don't even care
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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