A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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