I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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