if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
you never un-have a 4some
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
