at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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