one word: firstdatebathroomanal
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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