Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i may or may not be watching the land before time
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
