people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
