sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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