grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
