yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
