I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
you mean i was at the winter classic?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
