Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
