i will never coherently bang her
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
