I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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