She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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