He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
