and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
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