glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
