I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize