Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
