Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
