hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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