who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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