SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Well I just put wine in my tea
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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