So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
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