You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
