I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
