I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
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do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
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Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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