She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Is it penis luge time yet?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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