I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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