Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
