I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
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