Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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