this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Randomize
