So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
