Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize