The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
