i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
