you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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