And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
