oh god the rape fog is back!
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
