I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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