I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
