Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
