dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
