bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Randomize
