Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Randomize
