Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
