dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
