Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
