Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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