Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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