you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
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