when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
