i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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