so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
