Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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