The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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