how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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