I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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