My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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