i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Randomize