So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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